What your drink of choice says about you

The alcoholic beverage industry is a very rapidly moving business. Trends are made and discarded almost daily. One day everyone’s drinking bourbon and the next day Drake mentions Moscato in one of his songs and suddenly you have an influx of tough guys sipping on sweet desert wine. The same goes for cocktails. Bartenders come up with new ways to mix your favorite spirts by the hour. A good cocktail, however, lasts over time and doesn’t go out of style. Stirred, shaken, on the rocks or neat (preferably perfectly pre-mixed in a luscious Lavish can ;-))- However you may like it, everyone loves a great drink. Like it or not, as with the clothes you wear and the car you drive, the drink you order says a lot about you. With the debut of the youngest Lavish flavors: Mango vodka cocktail, coconut & pineapple vodka cocktail and vodka-cranberry, and after years of exhaustive research, (sitting at the bar all night and judging people) I want to compile a list detailing personality traits which are often associated with the most commonly ordered drinks.

 

Whiskey, neat.

If you order anything neat, you better have the personality to back it up. If that’s not the case, and you’re just a 20-something year old ordering scotch, neat to look sophisticated, you don’t. You just look ridiculous. If you do have the personality to back it up, whiskey is a mark of genuine refinement. You were probably voted “Most likely to succeed” in high school and you probably make way more money than I do.

(Photo credits: https://stocksnap.io/)

 

Beer.

If you’re a girl and you order beer, you know how to hang with the guys. If you’re a guy and you’re go-to-drink on a night out is beer, you’re probably laid back and you know how to have fun and aren’t afraid to talk to people. If it’s after 1 am and you’re drinking beer you’re wasted and switched to beer to make it through the night and you’re probably thinking about heading to a food truck. But then there also is craft-beer-guy. Craft-beer-guy is the opposite of laid-back-beer-guy. He’s the biggest snob in the bar talking about “Can you taste the hint of lemon-zest” or “Last year’s batch was better”. Do not talk to craft-beer-guy, he ranks right below red-wine swirl-and-sniff-guy.

(Photo credits: https://stocksnap.io/)

 

The Gin Tonic.

You’re probably a white man in his 50’s. No one under 50 orders Gin Tonics. Gin Tonics are for old white men with too much money and people who are at least a little bit dead inside. People who order Gin Tonic’s don’t have bar fights, they have bar disagreements.

 

The Martini.

You think you can hold your liquor and you want everyone to know it. If you’re a guy, you’re probably an obnoxious wannabe novelist who thinks he exudes urban sophistication, if you’re a girl ordering a dirty martini you’re a hot mess. You’re probably cheating on your boring finance husband with the gardener. Martini’s are the ultimate trying-too-hard drink. You don’t need to consume pure ethanol to look like a badass. Bottom line: if you’re drinking Martinis all night, you’re an alcoholic.

(Photo credits: http://liquor.com/recipes/dirty-martini/)

 

The Old Fashioned.

You are Don Draper. No? Then you either want to be, or you want to sleep with Don Draper. Mad men is your favorite show of all times. Either that, or you’re a kid who thinks they’re ordering a Manhattan, in which case you’re in for a bad surprise. You are a self-proclaimed creative genius.

(Photo credits: http://liquor.com/recipes/bourbon-old-fashioned)

 

The Cosmo.

You’re probably a mom. And you probably watch Sex and the City. Like all the time. Or you just love the challenge of trying to drink a pink drink out of the most ill-designed cocktail glass this world has to offer. For the sake of your dress and pride, leave the Cosmo alone.

 

The Long Island Iced Tea.

You’re either in college and want to get fucked up or you didn’t start drinking until you were about 29. And you want to get fucked up. The only people who drink Long Island Iced Teas are people who just don’t give a fuck and have absolutely no time to waste. Side note: You have a drinking problem.

(Photo credits: http://liquor.com/recipes/long-island-iced-tea/)

 

Jäger Bombs.

Hahaha. Really? You’re probably a college freshman pretending to be a junior. And its probably time for you to go home. When someone orders a shot of anything you know they should’ve taken a cab home five drinks ago. Jäger Bombs are for college kids or anyone trying a little too hard to reclaim their youth.

 

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